Zoe and I have found a little mom's group! Yay! We do various things, but right now the most consistent thing is we have a standing playdate once a week which helps her to have some interaction with other little kiddos (and gets me out of the house...equally important, I think). There are 4 of us who are consistent...hopefully there will be a few more. 2 girls have 3-4 month olds and one has a 9 month old so it's perfect for Zoe since she's right in the middle. It's nice to be able to chat about babies and not feel guilty that you're monopolizing the conversation with talk of spit up, breastfeeding, and sleep schedules.
Anyway, so I was at our weekly playdate this week, and 2 of the moms were talking about how their husbands were not being exactly...um, aware, of how necessary having 'me time' is for new moms (or any moms, for that matter). Now, all 3 are breastfeeding so admittedly, that makes it a bit more difficult since you kinda HAVE to be the one doing the feedings. But still.
Going golfing for hours on end EVERY weekend is a little absurd...especially when you have a 3 month old.
I know that the 'traditional' settings for 'mom' and 'dad' are still alive and well (hello, I'm mostly staying home, Stephen's working...we're not immune to that either). However, I think all new dads should have to spend a day alone with the baby. If you're breastfeeding, fine. Stay home, but don't lift a FINGER to do anything but feed the baby. Let them see what it takes to get through the day.
Stephen has always been supportive and involved...I think it's helped that I go to work in the afternoon/evening and he has to take care of her on his own. Also, for better or for worse, I had to stop breastfeeding after my dad passed so there was no, 'well, I can't feed her' excuses anymore. I will say, though, even HE didn't understand why I thought he was crazy when he wanted to work 5 10-hour days straight (including over the weekend) so he could take more time off around Christmas break. That is, until I took the car in to get serviced one Saturday and what was SUPPOSED to be 2 hours of work turned into most of the day...plus there was a snowstorm so it took me an hour and a half to get home. When I arrived, I recognized the crazed look in his eye as the same one I could see on myself every day of the week. I distinctly remember him saying, 'ok, I get it now'.
Anyway, I just thought it was remarkable that here are these 2, college educated women, choosing to stay home...yes. But not getting much support from their husbands. At least not from my perspective. I certainly don't have it all figured out, but I will say that would not fly in my household.
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