And so it Began...

I couldn't sleep last night.

No nausea, no pain...just woke up at about 3:30 wide awake! Unfortunately, the ONE day this week I have something to do in the morning and I can't sleep. Figures.

So, I started going through my normal routine of mentally singing songs, reenacting important days, anything to help me ease back into sleep. I replayed the day I knew Stephen was 'the one' and, while it DIDN'T help me to sleep, I felt like sharing the details of that day and what it meant to me.

A little over 5 years ago (hard to believe it's been that long!), I was headed to Denver to visit Stephen and see my brother in a play. It worked out perfectly. I had taken a personal day on Friday and Stephen had booked me a ticket using one of his per diem tickets (under the guise that I was his sister, I think...otherwise, they wouldn't have let him use it). I was a bit nervous. Our last meeting had been wonderful! But it had also been the first time we had ever met face to face. This would only be the second time, really.

Now, something you should know if you don't already. Because we lived in different cities, when we DID see each other, we saw each other for concentrated amounts of time, not just a date a few times a week. So...while it was the second time I had seen him, the first time I had seen him for 4 days straight and that was AFTER we had talked on the phone and AIM chatted for hours on end.

No, I was mostly nervous because I would be seeing him in HIS space...also because....da da da DUM...he would be meeting my parents.

My youngest brother was in a play in high school and so we were all going to go see the play...which meant Stephen AND my parents would be going...so he had to meet them.

Meeting the parents is always a daunting thing. I love my parents and I'm very close to them, but it still was nerve-wracking to have to introduce him to them. Especially someone they didn't know existed until a few weeks before.

So, back to the day. Stephen had taken the day off from work and had a plan for what we were going to do. Which was fine with me since I barely knew Denver and the idea of us sitting around playing the 'what do you want to do' game (a process we go through regularly now) did not sound...comfortable. After getting up at a leisurely pace, we set out on our adventure.

Remember, I didn't know Denver yet so I didn't know what part of the city we were in, where we might be going, nothing! All I knew is the mountains were to the West...actually, I'm ashamed to say but I'm not even sure I recognized that yet at that point.

We arrived first to an older building with lots of charm, but nothing telling about it. We followed the signs to the entrance (of what I didn't know) and as I walked through a charming back garden with color and whimsy displayed in various garden-esque items, I could hear...children?
We walked in and that boy had brought me to a puppet house...we were going to see a puppet show! So yes, 2 adults in their early 20's amongst a sea of kindergartners...at a puppet show.

Now, I know probably 85% of women would have immediately been looking for the nearest exit...probably more. But I was enchanted! The decor was perfect (it felt like you were inside a castle where you could make your own puppets and put on your own show from behind the turrets), the show was warming, and watching the kids enjoy themselves in a way that did NOT require electronics was wonderful. I think I sat through the whole show thinking what a perfect idea this had been...it wasn't until later when I was talking about it to some girl friends that I realized how...'unique' of me to find a puppet show the perfect date.

But the day wasn't over yet! After perusing the puppet shop (and playing a little, I must admit), we were off to our next destination.

After a somewhat lengthy, but scenic, drive we ended up at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. Anyone who has been there already knows how beautiful it is. The rocks take on a reddish...almost honeyed color and are in formations that have been cut away by thousands of years of wind and rain (mostly wind...this IS Colorado, you know). We enjoyed ourselves walking through the park, taking pictures, enjoying nature. We stayed until sunset, but unfortunately the clouds took some of that away from us. It was beautiful anyway.

After the sun went down, Stephen looked at his watch and announced that we needed to get moving if we wanted to make it to our reservation. Now, I looked down at myself and thought…if it’s a place that takes reservations, then I am DEFINITELY not dressed for the occasion. Stephen reassured me that I would be just fine. So, we loaded up and headed out to find the restaurant (I still didn’t know where we were going, though and I was STILL worried about how I was dressed…jeans and a t-shirt don’t usually comply with ‘reservation’).

As we were getting close, Stephen decided to let me in on where we would be dining. He was, after all, driving and having me be on the lookout was much easier, not to mention safer. About a minute before he told me, I had actually been thinking to myself, I wonder if it’s The Melting Pot…that would be one place that needs reservations but wouldn’t necessarily NEED for you to be dressed up. Which would be AWESOME because that was my favorite restaurant! So, the big unveiling and…yes! We are going to the Melting Pot! As soon as he said it, I laughed and was like, that’s my favorite place! I don’t think Stephen believed me at first. He had actually never been, but had heard from a friend that it’s a great date place because it’s fun and the food is fantastic. And of course, it was fun and the food was fantastic:-)

The night was drawing to a close and it was time to head back up to Denver. We had one last stop to make: the Parent Meeting. We had decided that we would stop by my parents house on our way home so that I could introduce Stephen to them so they had at least MET him once before we all went out to see Jon’s play the following night. Also, my grandparents were in town and they would be leaving the following morning so it gave us the perfect opportunity to let them meet him as well.

I was nervous. For SURE. But, I was already pretty smitten with Stephen so I knew they would be, too…hoped they would be, too!

I don’t really remember much about the meeting. What I DO remember is later that week when I had make it back to Wichita, my mom and I were talking on the phone and I was chomping at the bit to ask her what she thought of Stephen.

‘Oh, he seems nice’ was all I got.

Excuse me? Nice?! This is the guy I’m falling for and all you have to say is that he seems nice?? I was more than a little put off by the reception and decided not to let it get to me. She didn’t say anything negative, just didn’t sound overly excited.

A year later when my mom and I were out to lunch a few months before my wedding, she was saying how great a guy I was getting. I, of course, agreed. But I had to ask why she was so passé about him when she first met him.

‘Honey, I knew in about 5 minutes when he first walked in our door that this was going to be it. You’re my first born and my only daughter and it just took me awhile to come to terms with that.’

He had passed the test all along, Mom was just having a…well, ‘Mom Moment’.

The day was perfect. Maybe not for anyone else. But it was perfect for me. And so was he.

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day! Thank you, Mother Nature, for the life you have given me and the little one coming along:-)

The Cat's Out of the Bag

These past two weeks have been such a whirlwind! Stephen was out of town two weekends ago for his grandmother's 80th birthday. Then, this past weekend, we were both in St. Louis for my dearest friend's wedding. I was really worried about traveling to St. Louis and how my body would take it...especially during the time that's supposed to be the worst for morning sickness and other symptoms. I was pleasantly surprised! For the first time in three weeks, I actually felt like eating something! It was great! The best we can figure is coming OUT of altitude tremendously helped...I know this because since we've been back, I've been right back to square one feeling semi-sick every morning and finding it hard to eat dinner. Oh well. I'm almost to nine weeks so probably another three weeks or so and we'll be out of the icky phase.

The biggest thing that's happened is we let everyone know the good news! It still felt a little early to be telling everyone, but we couldn't pass up the opportunity since we would be around our families and friends. I think the most surprised/excited was my grandmother! We told everyone and she didn't hear what we said (she's hard of hearing) and so I leaned over to her and said, 'you're going to be a great-grandmother' and she did a little hop! I haven't seen her that excited for a long time! Everyone seemed very excited. I think some of my high school friends were surprised, but not TOO surprised. I think many of them figured I wouldn't wait too long to have kids.

I'm actually really glad we didn't wait to tell everyone. I think while we were waiting I felt more nervous about what could happen. Probably because it felt like we were waiting for a reason...making the possibility of what could go wrong more in the forefront of our thinking. I certainly know that nothing's guaranteed...but you know what? That will ALWAYS be the case. So why not celebrate and be excited with our friends and family rather than sit on pins and needles waiting? I'm glad it's out. Now it's time to enjoy it!

7 Weeks

Well, another week has gone by and boy was it a big one! First doctor's appointment which I was COMPLETELY freaked about. If you recall, I had some spotting and I was hoping everything was doing what it was supposed to be doing. As you can see from the pics, it turned out great and all is well for now. Still having some minor spotting, but I think I'm finally kind of 'getting used to it' and letting it go.

Morning sickness continues! I felt great on Tuesday and Wednesday so I thought maybe it was easing up and then Thursday came and WHAM...I was on the couch all morning long...even thought I might have to run to the porcelain goddess, but managed to avoid it. We'll see how the next few days go. The GOOD thing is I don't seem to have it much past 10 or so. I haven't yet figured out how to cook dinner and not gag in the morning when I can still kinda smell it. We had fajitas last night and I did just fine making and eating them. But then when I got back this morning from taking Stephen to the airport, I had to hold my nose until I got back up to the bedroom. Thank goodness it's spring-moving into summer so I can keep the windows open.

Still have some small cramps...normal stuff...I'm definitely stretching out! (as can be seen by the fact that I've had to break out the old pre-Weight Watchers jeans). I think my thought now is to start taking pictures at 12 weeks. That way I have an excuse:-P

Stephen is in Miami for his grandmother's 80th birthday (Happy Birthday, Grandma!). His mother, grandparents and uncle are there so I think he's going to let them know soon. I wish I could be there, too! But with this wedding coming up, it would have been tough. We'll have to make a trip out there after the baby is born to show off to the great-grandparents:-D

On to the next week!

First pics!

Here are the first ultrasound pictures...I think we're having a...fuzz ball:-P.  Not much to look at, but soon it will start to look like something!

Fuzz Ball with a Heartbeat

Fuzz Ball. That's what the baby looks like right now. So that's what we're calling it for now. And it has a heartbeat!! It's an amazing sight to see. I'm so glad I could see the heartbeat. Not only because it reassured me that everything is going well, but also because it gives, well, life to something that otherwise just looks like a blur on the screen.

To update where we're at now:

Spotting basically stopped. I may have a little here and there, but it's pretty much dwindled off. My doctor said that since I've had this spotting but the baby looks great I shouldn't worry too much about it, but definitely call if that changes. When I was getting my pap, I had some bleeding almost immediately so the doctor said it could just be that my cervix is really sensitive and bleeds a little more readily than most.

Morning sickness seems to have lessened a bit. It's more a slight uneasiness and I actually feel like eating something now! The doctor said it's still early so I may experience more later so just be prepared.

On Sunday I had to upgrade back to my fat pants!! I kept a lot of my clothes from before the Weight Watchers days in anticipating needing them again. They're pretty loose...really I need something between them and my skinny jeans, but I'm not really into buying clothes I may only need for a month or two...if I can help it.

I DO, however, still fit into my bridesmaid dress, thank goodness. I'm SO glad the wedding is only a week and a half away...any longer and I think it would have been questionable. Either that or I would be frantically calling a seamstress hoping they could work miracles! The dress is a bit snug and I don't look as good as I had hoped, but I'll take it. So long as it zips up, I don't care.

Today I'm 6 weeks and 5 days (according to measurements at the doctor). Estimated due date: November 25...you guessed it...Thanksgiving Day. Guess we'll have one more thing to be thankful for this year!

6 Weeks

I didn't get a chance to check in on Wednesday. Sorry.

I had a bit of a scare last night and this morning. I'm still not OK, but the dr. assures me it's normal so I'm trying not to read too much into it. I had a little bit of spotting both last night and this morning. It hasn't been a lot and it's completely brown which apparently is fine. I have my first appointment on Tuesday so I didn't want things to get worse and have to go into the weekend not knowing what was going on. So, I called first thing this morning and the receptionist assured me that so long as it's brown I'm in the clear. I can't help but be a little worried since I had NO spotting up until now (except in situations where I had a reason for the spotting). This is the first spotting I've had with no real reason. I'm trying to take it in strides. I guess I just have to keep going and hope everything will be alright. Follow drs orders. If I see any red blood, call right away.

Whew! Well, morning sickness has definitely started. It's different every day. Sometimes I feel horrible all day and some days I only feel a little icky in the morning. It's more like smells and the THOUGHT of eating is not appealing (which for me is HUGE because we all know I LOVE to eat!). Today I don't feel so bad so I'll probably take the opportunity to clean up a little around here and take care of some things I've been avoiding...it will also keep my mind off of everything.

Weight: 133.8 pounds
Waist: 35 inches

Keep your fingers crossed.